My thoughts...

Ever go through a phase of feeling as if nothing is blog-worthy? Well that's me right now. Life hasn't been boring, but kind of uneventful and well, maybe boring. We're kind of at an in-between stage in life. Trying to decide what the next, best step is for us. Been feeling a little like we're on repeat, doing the same things day in, day out, but also feeling that it may not be all that bad listening to the same track over and over. I can't help but worry about the future, knowing that whatever we choose to do now, will always change the way the future unravels for us. I go back and forth so frequently on when I'd like to start having kids. I worry that if I have them now I'll lose my freedom. But then I worry that if I don't have them soon enough, I could go through a great deal of heartache. How do we ever truly know when we are ready? I feel very blessed to be as fortunate as I am. I have a great husband, a house and cars and jobs to pay for all our nice things. I have 3 dogs, that keep me laughing and happy everyday. We have great families that support us in everything we do and are great friends to us as well. But I can't help but want more. I want that nice big house in the dream spot, I don't want to be "stuck" in this ghetto neighborhood forever. I want to have money to go on nice vacations and remodel different things around the house to my liking. I want to be a good mother, patient and kind, just like my mom. I want to always see eye to eye with my husband and be able to raise our children to be good kids. I want my kids to grow up honest and good, and know what integrity is. I hope and pray when the time is right that all these insecurities will melt away and our kids will see confident and loving parents, just as they should. Until then, I'll keep my head up and remember that I have Will at my side every step of the way, and that is a great feeling!