Saturday, September 11, 2010
My thoughts...
Ever go through a phase of feeling as if nothing is blog-worthy? Well that's me right now. Life hasn't been boring, but kind of uneventful and well, maybe boring. We're kind of at an in-between stage in life. Trying to decide what the next, best step is for us. Been feeling a little like we're on repeat, doing the same things day in, day out, but also feeling that it may not be all that bad listening to the same track over and over. I can't help but worry about the future, knowing that whatever we choose to do now, will always change the way the future unravels for us. I go back and forth so frequently on when I'd like to start having kids. I worry that if I have them now I'll lose my freedom. But then I worry that if I don't have them soon enough, I could go through a great deal of heartache. How do we ever truly know when we are ready? I feel very blessed to be as fortunate as I am. I have a great husband, a house and cars and jobs to pay for all our nice things. I have 3 dogs, that keep me laughing and happy everyday. We have great families that support us in everything we do and are great friends to us as well. But I can't help but want more. I want that nice big house in the dream spot, I don't want to be "stuck" in this ghetto neighborhood forever. I want to have money to go on nice vacations and remodel different things around the house to my liking. I want to be a good mother, patient and kind, just like my mom. I want to always see eye to eye with my husband and be able to raise our children to be good kids. I want my kids to grow up honest and good, and know what integrity is. I hope and pray when the time is right that all these insecurities will melt away and our kids will see confident and loving parents, just as they should. Until then, I'll keep my head up and remember that I have Will at my side every step of the way, and that is a great feeling!
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7 comments:
Darla, you know I love you. And you know I want you to have kids. Honestly though, if you want to wait until things are perfect, you will never have them. I think there are a few things you should wait on until you have kids, (find a good baby daddy, be a stable person, etc...). But if you wait until you are ready, you will never be ready. Think of your mom and dad, they didn't have the perfect house, or cars or jobs when they had kids.
Question is: Are you and Will in a good enough spot in your relationship. When you have kids you will get a lot closer, but you need to be able to let little things go and focus on your baby. It was hard for me to stop bugging Bryce on how he hung up his towel, but focus on how much he helped me at night when I was tired and there was a baby crying.
You and Will are great. We love you to death- and maybe I just say all that because I want Elsie and Colt to get a cousin?????
You do lose freedoms when you have kids but if you make getting out (and leaving the kids at a sitter) a priority you can still have fun, even as a mom :o) Kids are worth it, they are lots and lots of work but seeing little spawns of you and your hubby run around is pretty neat.
Darla,
Nobody is ever ready to have kids. You do lose your freedom when you do have them. But honestly, when you do have them, you will look back and ask yourself, "What did we ever do without them?" You will think the life you had before them was boring! They complete your life. They bring joy and happiness. They bring out the love you thought you didn't have. There are frustrations when having them, but the love, happiness and joy far outweigh the frustrations. Believe me. You will be an awesome mother and once you have one, you won't regret it. They are worth it!
Staci
The other comments are pretty much spot on. You'll never feel like you're ready for kids. Don't wait till you have everything - cause you won't, plus you've got the rest of your lives for stuff. You do lose some of your freedom, especially when they are really small, but as they get older they are so much fun and you've got a little sidekick to hang out with! They are totally worth all the trouble. It kind of sounds like you know what you want - but you are scared/nervous/worried to take the next step. I think that's totally normal. It's a good thing they take awhile to get here. Whenever you do have kids, you'll be an awesome mom!
I agree with all that was said above. I can't say from personal experience how kids will affect your life, but I do see the effect that they have had on others' lives.
If you and Will feel ready, don't wait for the perfect house. Mom and Dad didn't have their perfect home until they had already raised us, and do you think that they regret putting that off to have their family? No.
Just like Mary said, you will never be fully ready if you try to have everything picture-perfect before having kids.
Maybe Meaty and Buggy do need some DeMann cousins :)
you guys will be great parents no matter when it happens. Good luck deciding which direction to go in life, it will be an adventure!
Dar-
I am agreeing with most everyone else too. I don't think my parents were "ready" but they made it work, because they wanted kids so bad. Everything else around them had to wait like the dream house, but they did have 3 kids and have been married so happily now for 22 years.
I guess it all falls back to if you and will are at a spot where you are ready to put yourselves aside for your dream of having kids.
Anyway I love you and think you're awesome! You'd be a great mother and you're an awesome sister!
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